Tuesday, 21 August 2018

When Bad Things Happen to Good Houses

We are currently in the midst of doing up our house, hence the radio silence*. It is no easy feat having three children sleeping downstairs, bunk beds and all. Somehow we are managing, and looking forward to the renovation completion.



As I spent quite a lot of time in silence removing woodchip wallpaper from our hallway, staircase, landing and two bedrooms, I wondered to myself what other horror stories could other people have?
For what is it worth, despite woodchip being declared 'the devil', the majority of ours came off relatively easily with only a score with a scraper. Pulling huge strips off was immensly satisfying. When sheets pulled out wall plugs too, it was like a giant pore cleansing nose strip!

woodchip wallpaper image search yes it is still available to purchase
Roll up, roll up, buy your light minimising wallpaper here!

Apart from the atrocity of woodchip wallpaper, we also discovered another 'Bodge It Yourself - job; in the living room. We wanted to see whether the floorboards were in good nick (note to self, it is a Victorian midterrace, none of it will be!), so we rolled up the carpet in the bay window to find...

a kitchen cabinet door
...which matched the present at the time kitchen

So, I am not the only one to be amazed with what some people are capable of in order to create a facade in their own home. I mean, it is obviously fine to do so, but some choices such as the aforementioned just makes the mind boggle! No photos mind, so you can use your own imagination (and recoil in horror).



 A Beautiful Mind tells me that her husband's friend said he could install their new toilet, and put a CORK plinth underneath it which her 4 year old boy peed over all the time and it STANK!

Mummy and the Chunks found a door that led to nowhere behind 5 layers of wallpaper in what they thought was an ordinary wall!

All About Mummy's house is covered in devils grade ceiling artex. Whoever did it must have been on something. Every room, except the downstairs loo which escaped somehow...

Mama Mighall's loft is 'boarded out' with old doors. No idea how the old man that used to live there got them up there!

When we moved into our house now it was utterly beautiful, all freshly renovated and immaculate...so we thought. One day after the en-suite bulbs kept blowing I got my dad round to investigate. Eventually he discovered that the entire wirings of our bathroom electric were all screwed up into a Tesco carrier bag and placed under the floorboards, amongst the (leaky) plumbing too! We are lucky to have got out alive!! - Five Little Doves

when DIY ends in an interesting result


Our kitchen and living room used to be open plan and it was blocked up before we moved in. Only they left the kitchen light in the middle of the living room!
There were random light switches everywhere that did absolutely nothing. It needed a whole rewire. Good job my partner is an electrician. - To Aufinity and Beyond

Our house is a new build and so we were so thrilled when we moved in as everything was new. However the people who worked on the first set of houses in our area hadn't done the best job. Firstly, we had no TV signal for months and eventually discovered the TV wire had just been curled up and placed behind the socket unconnected. Secondly, our bathroom was having issues and we discovered that it only had 2 beams supporting the whole thing. Thirdly, we had no washing machine plug for about a year, and eventually discovered it was hidden in the back of the kitchen cupboard! - The Parenting Trials

Me, Him, the dog and a baby tells me that the previous owners of their 1900 Victorian house took out any period feature. They even sanded the original floor in the hallway with hand-painted pattern around the edge. They also painted everything, including bathroom tiles and kitchen cupboards in white emulsion.

Tiny Tripping reflects in horror - OMG. When we were doing the nursery we found that when we peeled off the wallpaper there was more wallpaper and under that we found that the plaster had blown and rather than fix it the render had been STICKY-TAPED back on. Load of fun at 8 months pregnant.

Twinderelmo had a filthy stained patch of carpet where the previous owner must have stood to do their fake tan. A large rug had disguised it for the purpose of the house viewings. Grim!


Do you have any corkers? (Hopefully you aren't guilty of one)
Let me know!
*Backdated post, its been hectic!
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